


Park benches and Nightingales

by CaptainLokii



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, First Dance, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 00:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLokii/pseuds/CaptainLokii
Summary: An accidental touch can lead to a lot of accidental feelings. Aziraphale isn't equipt to deal with all these new feelings at once but Crowley is always there to help him out.





	Park benches and Nightingales

**Author's Note:**

> Terrible summary I know but I don't know what else to put. 
> 
> Here is some angsty fluff for my sweet baby angel Aziraphale. 
> 
> I finished the show a couple days ago and i've been obsessed over since. Its PERFECT. Im really sad we won't get more probably as Michael Sheen was the perfect Aziraphale. I also love that they let both him and David play the characters as in love which we know they were in the books but how often do we get that translated to tv? i also love how DETERMINED they are for people to accept that they are in love in interviews.

They find themselves sitting on park benches a lot. He never could remember when that became a regular activity for them. Perhaps it was around the time park benches were invented. Was that one of Crowley's or one of his? Heavens, they'd worked together for so long now he couldn't quite remember. 

It's not like it was a meeting point after not seeing each other for years like it once was. They practically lived together now, spending half their time at his comfy little book shop and the other half at Crowley's sprawling apartment. They'd chosen to go out and get some fresh air together and sit on the bench in the park and watch the world go by. 

“Do you remember when we met Tchaikovsky, Angel?” Crowley asked after a pause in the conversation. He looked over at the demon beside him who sat on a chair like he was laid across it like fine silk all elegance and grace and desire and all the things bad in the world that he made to seem so good. 

“How could I forget. I also recall where he got the ideas for using canons in his overture.” That was how his previous beloved coat had been damaged beyond any miracles salvation. 

“I think those canons were some of my best work... Still sorry about your coat though.” he said it with a smirk to try and hide how deeply he meant his apology but Aziraphale knew. He always knew with Crowley. 

Crowley was both the least complicated and most complicated creature he'd ever met. He was never like the other demons that fell. He wasn't bad or cold hearted like they were. He'd tried to be. He'd tried so hard it almost destroyed him but he was never destined to be bad. He was just a lost child trying to find his way in an ever changing world that got swooped up in madness. Even now after long since giving up on trying to fit in with the other demons he still tried to put on the facade of wickedness. It never fooled him though. He could see his heart. He was purer of heart than many of the angels he knew. Not that he'd ever tell Crowley that of course. 

“Angel?” Crowley asked stirring from his thoughts by nudging his hand. It lingered on his for a moment and Aziraphale looks up at his best friend who looks back at him with an unreadable expression. “You were starring off into the abyss again.” he said finally pulling his hand back like it was nothing. 

Aziraphale felt a strange sensation in his stomach he couldn't quite place the cause of. He was an angel so it wasn't like he could be sick nor was it an entirely unpleasant sensation to lead him to that conclusion. “Oh....oh I...I do apologise old friend. Just a spot of day dreaming about what a marvellous world in which we live.” It wasn't a lie. He was an angel and didn't do such things and the world truly was a marvellous place especially now after the apocalypse had been averted. He'd feared he may have angered god with their little plan to stop Adam but with things going so swimmingly since he'd began to think he had been correct about her ineffable plan after all. 

Crowley was looking at him again with the same expression as if he were going to say something but was holding himself back. “I have an appointment I must attend to. I will pop by later” he said suddenly standing up from the bench beside him with his ever stylish flourish and vanished before he could say goodbye. 

Well that was that then. 

He popped himself back to his little shop. No point sitting on the bench alone without Crowley for company. 

His dear friend had been acting rather strangely lately but whenever he questioned him on it he was quickly shut down. He didn't appear to be in ill health or as much as a demon can have ill health. He appeared almost sad.

There was that feeling again. That fluttering knot in his tummy that made him feel all peculiar. He tried to think to what could cause it. Was them some malardy that only angelic beings could get? He'd not heard of one before. 

What ever the feeling was it felt unnatural. He didn't like unnatural feelings. They made him worry that god was mad at him for something or maybe it was the start of him falling. He didn't know what falling felt like. He'd always wanted to ask Crowley but it was a touchy subject for his dear friend. 

He knew Crowley regretted falling. Not entirely. He liked his demonic powers and the freedom that came with it but he hated the world viewing him as some evil creature who spread terror mindlessly. He wasn't like the other demons. Far from it. He was kind and intelligent who cared deeply about those important to him. He knew that all to well. All the years they'd had their arrangement he'd gone out of his way to do things that would make him happy even if they had no benefit for himself. 

He'd had a bomb drop on a church to kill some of those awful Nazis to save his life but still worked around it so that his beloved books had been saved because he knew how heartbroken he'd be to see such things be destroyed. He'd no reason to help him. He knew full well if he truly wanted to he could've miracled the books back to reality but like with his coat it just wouldn't be the same and he'd always know that it wasn't how it really was. 

There it was again. That twisty feeling. His mind flashes back to the bench when Crowley's hand had touched his oh so gently and his stomach had tied itself in knots. Why would that make him feel like this? He'd touched Crowley's hand before on many an occasion in fact. Like the time he'd tried to teach him the gavotte. Oh that had been a lovely evening. Crowley truly was the most terrible dancer but it was such a delightful time twirling around the room with him till they were both so drunk they could barely stand. 

Was this guilt? Was this some dormant extreme guilt from 6000 years ago coming back with a vengeance over his friendship with a demon? It wasn't exactly natural was it for an angel to be best friends with a demon. Was it guilt over giving in to Crowley's temptations time and time again without any attempt at resistance? Was it guilt of his being such a bad angel? 

Oh he didn't like this at all. He didn't like not knowing things. 

He rubbed his hands over his face and found his skin wet. Was he crying? He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. It wasn't something angels really did. They had no need for tears. It frightened him deeply to feel so out of control. 

Sleep. He needed sleep. Well he didn't need sleep per-say. He was an angel it wasn't something he HAD to do but the humans always said they felt better after a good sleep. Maybe he would feel better after that. Yes, sleep would solve everything. 

~~

He woke up the next day and went about his business like nothing had happened. He performed a few miracles and some not so miraculous tasks to keep upstairs and downstairs happy. He performed a few magic tricks for some children who had come in to the shop with their parents. They'd sat and watched with complete attention as he'd made doves appear out of books and sweets appear from their ears. They'd giggled and smiled gleefully trick after trick. 

Then night had fallen and Crowley had swaggered in like he always did all big smiles and dark glasses. He'd lazily thrown himself into the comfiest chair in the back room and cheerfully told him off his day. 

Aziraphale sat on the furthest chair from the demon and watched cautiously waiting for something to happen which might cause the feeling to return. He'd been thinking perhaps it was some sort of trick Crowley had been playing on him for his own amusement but decided against it because what joy would he get out of it? It was far to subtle for Crowley's tastes any way. 

“..and I said to them! I said to them 'if you even think of growing red flowers instead of purple then I'll burn you in holy fire!' ha ha! To think they thought they could get away with red flowers! Red!” Crowley guffawed. “You should've seen them Angel! Quaking they were!” he threw his head back with a laugh and reached out with one hand and put it on his shoulder. There it was... that feeling again like a rush through his systems making him flinch away from the demons touch and leap from his chair backing up against the wall. 

Crowley stopped what he was doing his hand still held out in front of him. “Angel?” he asked “are you alright?” 

“yuh....yes.... quite alright... Just...I just...” he stuttered suddenly terrified as the sensation built up further in his tummy as Crowley looked at him with such concern. What was wrong with him?

He could feel the wet on his cheeks again. Why was he crying? He felt ridiculous.

“Aziraphale? What's the matter?” Crowley was getting up now and coming towards him and each step made his insides clench tighter. 

“I just...I need a moment” he gasped out as Crowley came into touching distance once more. He felt behind him for the door knob and fled into the so called bedroom where he liked to sit comfortably and read his books with a warm fire and a hot cocoa. 

He slammed the door behind himself and paced the well worn carpet he'd chosen some hundred years ago now. The door between them didn't make the feeling any better nor did it stop the tears from flowing. 

“Angel open this door. Something's the matter and I demand to know what” Crowley thumped on the door hard it made the pictures hung on the walls rattle. 

“I can't Crowley...I mustn't” he said so quiet a human being wouldn't be able to hear. 

“I don't need you to open the door for me to get in Angel. Let me in willingly or I will come in by force.” Crowley threatened but he didn't sound angry. He sounded worried? Concerned? Oh what was going on. 

He rubbed at his eyes and tried to make the blasted tears stop falling, they were making his bow tie all soggy. He felt a rush of air behind him and a warm hand on his shoulder making him jump a foot across the room. 

“Aziraphale what's wrong? Are you hurt? Sick? Is some one threatening you? Tell me and I will make them suffer.” The demon growled through gritted teeth. 

“No! It's...it's nothing like that” he tried to explain “I'm just being silly. Just leave me be Crowley and I will be fine.” 

“Fine? Like hell you're fine. In all the 6000 years I've known you I don't think I've ever seen you cry. So tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. I don't like seeing you like this. You're usually so irritatingly optimistic.” 

He looked the demon in the eye and the feeling got stronger once more. Why was it doing this? Why was it happening so suddenly? What had he done wrong? His lip began to wobble he could feel it. “No don't do that. Don't do that to me Angel” Crowley said warningly but he couldn't stop it. His lip began to wobble more and next thing he knew he was sobbing into his hands as warm arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and rocked him gently whispering soothing words into his ear. 

“I feel something wrong Crowley.” he sobbed into the demons coat. “I feel something wrong in my tummy and I don't know what's causing it. It only seems to happen when I'm around you” he explained as the demon continued to hold him. “It feels....It feels unnatural and I don't like it but when I'm apart from you it feels worse.” 6000 years would do that to a person. 

“I make you feel unnatural? In what way?” Crowley sounded hurt which only made the feeling worse. Everything Crowley did made the feeling worse. 

“You make me feel all fluttery and twisty in here” he said pulling back to press against his soft tummy. “It frightens me Crowley” he whispered ashamed to say it out loud. 

The demon looked at him with a expression that he could only read as pity. “Oh Angel... all those years on this earth and you never learned... never experienced? Aziraphale...” he shook his head sadly and pulled him in for another hug. “What you are feeling isn't unnatural or bad at all. I'm so so sorry. I should've realised you wouldn't know better.” What was he talking about? Of course it was unnatural why else would he feel so guilty over it. Why else would be cry? 

“I don't understand?” 

“Have you never been told what love is Aziraphale?”

“of course? Why are you asking such a silly question?” the demon wasn't making any sense. 

“Not love like your god loves you but love between to people. You've seen it here on earth surely. When two people love each other so dearly that they want to spend the rest of their lives together and cannot bare to be apart? All these years I never realised... I stayed by your side knowing you'd never feel the same way...I thought it was because I was a demon not because you just didn't know what it was... Oh Aziraphale...and it scared you...” Crowley had tears in his eyes now. Now felt like another moment where it would be easier just to go to sleep. “You aren't sick or hurt or unnatural my dear Angel. You are in love.” 

“In love? Angels can't fall in love” he protested. Such a silly idea. He wasn't made for such things. 

“I think we accepted long ago that you are not wholly angelic as I am not wholly demonic. We are us and everything else is just them and we can be whatever we want to be.” But love? He'd seen many people fall in love over the years. He'd even wondered what it would be like to fall in love himself once after two of the gentleman at that delightful little club had fallen for each other. He just never realised it was something he could have for himself. Let alone it be with a demon. 

“Wait...you said you thought I'd never feel the same way?” he said wiping the tears off is red cheeks. “You love me Crowley?” 

“Have for 6000 years and counting and don't regret any of it for a second” the demon said proudly. 

“All those years and you never said anything? And I realise for a few days and can't even function? How did you do it?” He'd been in such turmoil over it he couldn't imagine keeping a secret for so long.

“Because I'd rather have you by my side as my best friend than not at all. I was content just seeing you happy. Doing something that would make you smile so bright it was like the world was created anew. Hearing you laugh was like hearing the first birds song again. Just being able to be near you and love you was enough for me.” He'd read many a romantic novel in his life and could even admit they were a bit of a guilty pleasure but this was so much more. It felt was real and it was for him. It was Crowley opening his heart up to him and showering him in love. 

“I thought god was punishing me...for befriending you... I didn't think...not love...” he tried to explain but Crowley shushed him and put a gentle hand to his cheek. 

“You don't need to explain anything to me Angel. You didn't know better and it's okay. We still ave a long future ahead of us but now we can take it on combined as one not apart.” Crowley's other hand joined the first on his cheek and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into the warm touch. Nor could he stop himself from leaning into the kiss that the demon placed gently to his lips. It was brief but it was warm and filled with endless amounts of love that his stomach fluttered once more. 

“Oh Crowley” he whispered leaning in to rest his head against the other man's chest. “I do love you. I do.” they swayed together on the spot just enjoying each others comfort. He heard a click from the gramophone behind them and the record began to spin. A nightingale sang in Berkeley square began to play softly around the room as their sways kept time with the music. 

Crowley pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “I love you to. My Angel”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, Comments and shares are always appreciated!


End file.
